Welcome back to my world, where charm is currency, and trust is a tool. In my last post, I introduced myself as the real estate agent who’s more interested in commissions than clients. Today, I’ll pull back the curtain on how I connect with the community and turn innocent bystanders into paying customers.

1. The Friendly Neighbor Act

The first rule of real estate is simple: be everywhere. I’m not just an agent; I’m a community staple. You’ll find me at school events, charity runs, and even your cousin’s wedding. I’m the guy handing out business cards with a smile, the one who always remembers your name (and your dog’s name, too). Why? Because trust is the foundation of my business. If you trust me, you’ll believe me when I tell you that the crumbling house on the corner is a “fixer-upper with potential.”

But it’s not just about being present; it’s about being relatable. I’ll share stories about my “struggles” as a single parent, my “passion” for volunteering, and my “love” for the community. Spoiler alert: most of it’s fabricated. But hey, if it gets you to trust me, it’s worth it.

2. The Social Media Guru

In today’s digital age, social media is my playground. My Instagram is a carefully curated gallery of me holding puppies, volunteering at shelters, and smiling like I’ve never met a commission I didn’t like. My captions are filled with hashtags like #CommunityFirst and #JustHereToHelp. But behind the scenes, I’m calculating every post, every like, and every comment to ensure maximum engagement.

I’ll even share “heartwarming” stories about helping clients find their dream homes. What I won’t share are the countless times I’ve talked clients into buying homes they couldn’t afford or glossed over major flaws in a property. But hey, that’s what filters are for, right?

Bonus Social Media Ad:
Have you seen my Facebook posts on “back-to-back deal close”? Back-to-back deal close tells you how many deals I’ve sealed in record time. Do you think it’s easy to do? No. For that, I always have to go way above the listing price when I’m helping my client to buy a house and way below the listing price when I’m helping to sell the property. Since I’m giving cash back and other incentives to my clients, it’s more than okay to do it. My clients don’t care about anything else when they get cash back and incentives—even if buying a good property at a reasonable price would outweigh my cash back and other incentives. If my clients are happy, who the hell are you to care about my deal-making art?

3. The Free Seminar Scam

One of my favorite tactics is hosting free seminars or workshops. I’ll advertise them as educational events for first-time homebuyers or investors. The truth? They’re just elaborate networking opportunities. I’ll dazzle you with buzzwords like “equity growth” and “investment potential,” all while subtly steering you toward properties that benefit me the most.

By the end of the seminar, you’ll be so impressed by my “expertise” that you’ll forget to ask why I’m offering this advice for free. (Hint: it’s not out of the goodness of my heart.)

4. The Referral Game

Once I’ve hooked you, I’ll exploit your network. I’ll ask for referrals with a smile, promising discounts or incentives I’ll never deliver. Your friends trust you, and I trust you to bring them to me. It’s a win-win—for me, at least.

1.   The Charity Charade

Finally, there’s the charity charade. I’ll sponsor some jerseys for tournaments, but they’ll have my name on them, and the athletes will essentially become walking advertisements for me. It doesn’t matter if people think all those athletes are actually me—what matters is that my name is out there. I’ll also donate to community causes and even organize community clean-ups. But let’s be real: I’m not doing this out of altruism. I’m doing it to build goodwill and position myself as a pillar of the community. And while you’re thanking me for my “generosity,” I’ll be handing you my business card.

6. My Incentives: The Ultimate Hook

I advertise myself as the best realtor in my community. When clients compare me with realtors from other communities, I scare them with tales of linguistic differences and hard-to-deal-with situations. When they compare me with realtors from my community, I show that I have better incentives than anyone else.

Here’s the deal: I give 1-1.5% cash back if they buy or sell property through me. On top of that, I’ll buy gifts for their housewarming party. But the real kicker? Buying or selling property with me is connected to someone very special—me. It’s not just a transaction; it’s an experience. And who doesn’t love cash back and free stuff?

Conclusion: A Call for Change
While this post is written in jest, the unethical practices it highlights are all too real. As a community, we must demand transparency, honesty, and accountability from real estate professionals. After all, a home is more than a transaction—it’s a dream, a sanctuary, and a lifetime investment.

So, the next time you meet a real estate agent who seems too good to be true, remember: not everything is as it seems. And if you ever need help navigating the murky waters of real estate, just remember my motto: “Trust no one—especially me.”